Bucketlist

Hello 2014! I have five months to tame you. My days are numbered with your conclusions entering through the windows of hope and terror. If you would be so kind to dissect my heart you’d have a hard time finding fear, maybe I kept it too buried together with my meekness or maybe I lost it forever.

I seem to have found this good fear, the kind that makes me frantic and ambitious. It’s a panorama of a million emotions running back and forth my sleepless nights. My faith is getting better, it’s consciously helping me make right decisions. I’ve mustered all my strength to judge my actions and to consider those who have changed me greatly. I’ve met many amazing people last year and I’ve re-met them.

Staring at the Philippine map in my bedroom wall I conclude that this world is to small for love and its promises. That may be the cause why I’ll always feel like a castaway in this lifetime. I’ll always be finding ways of coming home. There is great pain in ambition, the kind that makes you proud or insensitive to eternity, it can make you forget who you really are and who you’re supposed to be.

Let me dedicate all the seconds I have left to books, travelling and prayer. I pray that life will remain mysterious for my heart and that I live with courage to be foolish enough for the world. I feel secure knowing God has my fate in his hands. It’s really safe to say that we’re all destined for impossible things. We’re born to make a difference not just for this lifetime. What we have are stolen moments of the universe, yet despite their minuscule value they help the sun stay in its place and they give stars a reason to shine at night.

Having a broken heart or a stolen dream doesn’t mean that one lived outside his purpose. Some hearts are beautiful for having made broken and a stolen dream is a trophy of wisdom and acceptance to a far greater calling. I guess it’s important to remember that we all have a love that hasn’t even began yet with the right person. I think love means carrying your dreams along with other people’s dreams. It’s carrying each other’s hope, fears and ambition. It’s sharing a common faith.