Dear Russ

I’m gonna go straight to the point I miss you. I miss my best friend, lol, so much for serene introductions. This day has led me to reminisce things and to look forward as well. We really don’t know much about what’s happening in each other’s life. I don’t know much of the things that make you happy or sad right now. I don’t know what keeps you up at night, haha. But what I’ve realized from our friendship is that we don’t really have to know in order to care.

Funny, the three of us (Martin, you & I) didn’t always see eye to eye. Martin has his heart for drawing and other stuff I can’t really pronounce, lol, you have your flare for excitement and daring choices, hehe and I have my books and my cup of tea. We were an unlikely trio, but despite that we came together through our differences. I can still recall how our placid moments turned golden through experience. How our individual cause made us closer by driving us apart, like fission, the more we’re far from each other, the more synergy we have to make a difference in each other’s life. 

You’re one of the people who know me so well. You know who I hate, who I don’t hate, haha, you know the “Hero” of my college life. If I can recall, we were at Mcdo buying dinner for the M Staff when you blurted out “You like him” and I was surprised and I coyly denied the truth. You replied “Kez, it’s so obvious” and I finally admitted that I was sort of having a major crush on you know who, lol. You can leave my words subservient to your conclusions and I always admired the way you can convince my heart to be honest (hug). 

My mom told me that for the next six months I can do anything I want except drugs and other things, haha. She told me to try new experiences and do things to widen out my perspective, she always said that I’m not really that “friendly”. I don’t know why she said that but in order to prove to her that I’m not socially challenged I tried those Korean on-line tutorial things, where you talk to random strangers and you make them feel at ease or something like that. I tried it for a day and when I got home she was at the door saying “So, what did you learn?”. Haha, I told her my realizations and she replied that I should do more things that test my maturity. 

Hours ago, she told me that the entrance exam in San Beda is on January. Maybe that’s why I’m so jumpy today, or maybe it was the tea I drank, went to coffee break a while ago and they had no jasmine so I settled for sencha. By the way, there’s this cute guy at coffee break and guess what?! He’s studying at eleven in the evening. What could be better than a boy who’s totally dedicated to his studies? Haha, I think he was a medicine student student or maybe an accounting major. I always wanted to marry an accountant, lol. 

Russy, my heart is racing for the exams, I know that it’s still two months from now, but I can’t help but be mesmerized at how fast we’re growing up and how assiduous we must be for the pursuits of our hearts. I don’t know how our dreams will “propagate” along the way but I’m sure that we have our eyes on where we’re going and our hearts on how to get there.

You’ve seen how sort of hostile college life was to me, like during my report in one Filipino class where the teacher said that my reporting was so unacceptable and she made me sit down in the middle of my lecture, haha, I will not forget that moment. It was like discovering my strength by being weak, I tried to smile after she told me to sit down but inside a storm was growing, a storm that was calmed when I realized how the waves brought me to where I should be. 

Sometimes life offers us too many choices, that I guess some of us spend more time deciphering the right choice than actually living it out. I guess we’re the lucky ones? hehe. There’s still so much out there that we don’t know and there’s so much in us that wants to find out. 

I’m wishing you well on your journey. I’ll always be one of your greatest fans, am sure you’ll do amazing things just like you always do. Continually astound people and the fashion world, hehe. And just like the thing you told me when you arrived from Japan – “the faith one has for his dreams give them the greatest value”. 

Sunny Side

My soul is as bright as a million suns right now. I’m so excited for the next six months of my life, six crucial months before I finally (hopefully) go to San Beda. I want to make everything count, learning, travelling, exploring the corners of life without hesitations. My heart is full of hope anchored on faith and prayer that I pass the entrance exam and have the courage to live life in a big city where anything can happen.

I’ve never been this scared and excited before. Tomorrow I’ll call San Beda and the rest will be history after I take the entrance exams. I’m tracing the dots of destiny, forging fate as I finally get the chance to be out there. For you, who’s reading this, please do pray for me that I’m gonna do well in my pursuits and that my faith will not tarnish but increase by the precious seconds of this lifetime.

I have six months to enlighten myself about the real world and commit all that I can to my dream of being a lawyer. The study of law demands so much familiarity. It considers eloquence subservient to its notions. It demands such loyalty and price, of which I’m not sure I can fully afford. I have to be more alive than ever, live with no questions, no doubts. My prayers are fervent as I share this. The impossible has lost its threats. 

Train Rides

His body was distant from his soul and his heart was out of tune. For a moment he was certain of what he felt, but as expected he threw away a love he was most certain of. He was tired of dreaming, restless of those quite moments that remind him so much of why stars had to shine. 

For him, the moon no longer holds a mystery. Every puzzle life had to offer was only a nonchalant offer. He’d love to rewind time. While drinking his usual doze of nostalgia, he remembered the rainy days shared with long conversations, the crimson afternoons spent exploring the heart of the city without limitations. His heart can love again. But as he thought to himself another risk, he politely declined.